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The Crystal Ball
The Podium (2004)
Who's afraid of the future? Definitely not me. That wasn't the case not so long ago.
There was a time that waking up every morning meant a morning sensation equivalent to that what gives a pregnant woman fits of discomfort. The potential of the day was faced with certain doubts. Nearing school meant butterflies in the tummy and being in the office spelled sweaty palms.
I had to latch on security blankets, more like a security shirt, when I was younger. Growing older had me doing rituals from moving before exams or doing the same things or wearing the same successful neckties prior to big events to ensure the same if not better results.
I don't count yellow cars to spell a bad day, nor do I see bad omen in the action of others, but I take control of what to fear, of what to look out for. I feared showing my weakness. I looked out for pitfalls. I searched for possibilities of stumbling blocks. For one thing, it made me cognizant of things and events around me. But more than that, I was always on the lookout for failure. Doing that made me become a magnet for failing myself since I wasn't pressed on the prize, I was'nt playing to win, but playing not to lose.
Not until I've known how to allow a Supreme Being to run my life. Not until I allowed the Lord to make me realize that there is nothing to fear, "Fear not, for I am with you." (Jer 1:8), did my life become so predictably exciting.
My only security blanket these days are my family, and my wife.
My only ritual before any day is prayer.
Talking about the future:
o Several days ago, we weren't sure of being able to secure several things on our list prior to the trip, but one by one, things have fallen into place. We have the tickets secured, we have people to help us enjoy our first weeks and make getting on with our new chapter a seamless transition, the car has been sold, my wife's separation from a company she served so well for 12 years was accepted well without much fanfare nor bridges burned, with benefits intact. We've had outpouring of blessings, well wishes from friends, and the best of health the last couple of weeks.
God is indeed good.